of friends, dreams, and hope...

Somehow, updating this blog has not been a frequent habit as I wished I would have.. But then, updating it once in a while would be really great and now, here I am updating about what has been going on with my life for the past few months...

I am going to miss this place very much...

This year is my final year here in New Zealand... I know, time flies by really fast and I actually dreamed to stay here a bit longer, at least another year... But then, being away from home for almost 2 years is already a pain to me... Because there's no place like home...

Speaking of home, there are a few reasons why someone would call a place "home"... Here's my reason why I would call a place "home":

1) It's where family is (obviously)
2) It's where you feel safe
3) It's where people really care about you
4) It's where you can be yourself without others judging you
5) It's where friends are...

Goofing around with Ivan..

Naserah, Jane, Elfira and I...

Mr. Addy and I...

 And speaking of friends, I attended a barbecue event to celebrate 3 of my newly-met friends this afternoon and as I was standing in a corner watching all of them, I find myself thinking: would I still have friends who are as awesome as these are back in Malaysia? The ones that are so open and fun? Deep down inside, I know I will because right now, apart from my TESL friends, they are all waiting for me back home... The atmosphere will be different, that I'm sure.. And I will have to control myself and my openness.. But one thing that will stay the same will be this: the same feeling will always be there. That feeling like they are only looking at you because they know you'll be around when they need you and forget you the minute they get what they want... I will always feel that way, and I'm cool with that... Because they also have other friends than me.. So long as they understand that I too have feelings, and so long as I know and believe that God is always there for me, I'll definitely be fine...

Goofing off with Jeffrey...

Sarah and I...

Annie and I...

Faustina, Annie, Elaine, Kah Yenn, Bellina and Ivan (the new couple)

Bellina, Ivan and Stephen during their birthday BBQ...

I always find myself dream about things that will never happen... What if my crush likes me back? Would I be able to accept it? What if my friends really forget about me? What if they stab me from the back when I need them? What if I were to be alone for the rest of my life? Is that my fate? Sometimes I dream that I have someone that I can go to if my family were to be far away like now... Someone who cares about me deeply and is always there for me no matter what... But that is just a dream.... A hope that may or may not come true...

And I'm actually jealous of those who have that special someone in their lives... I actually grew really jealous recently when my 2 new friends finally declared that they are going out... But, I said to myself, "Don't be jealous.. Be happy for them... Now they don't just have friends to turn to, they have a special someone that they can really rely on.." and after that, I'm not sad anymore... Well, not until now when I'm writing this down...

I'll definitely miss those faces up there... I know that someday, if God wills it, we will definitely meet again... Till then, it is really nice to have known all of you....

With all due respect,
Hafiz Khairuddin